She's All Alone
by Lana Archer
Summary: A Bonnie-centric one-shot about what it feels like to be left behind - alone...again


(Unedited and short. Thoughts welcome)

"**She's all alone"**

Bonnie could feel it. She could literally feel her heart breaking into millions of pieces; a pain so fierce she was sure that she was dying again. Only, this time, it felt eerily final. A death without dying. What little was left inside of her; final shreds of hope fell away, leaving her bare and reeling. She felt herself slip, slide and stumble into hopelessness and it welcomed her with a warmth she'd been yearning for since she arrived to this godforsaken dimension. Her heart ached; throbbed violently in her chest as she shook and cried; letting it all in and out at once – all the hurt, the hope and the hollow. She let it whittle away at herself, let her tears draw it all to the surface so it would leave her in peace sooner rather than later. Never before had she envied vampires and their stupid ability to turn it all off until now. Never before had she wanted it all gone, every second of it. She'd kept hoping, kept going and for what? To be left behind? Again?

The pain stretched and groaned through her, racking her body with loud wails and sobs that fell on her ears and her ears alone. She was alone. All alone. Her little body shook, her frame vibrating with sorrow as it took on a physical form, shooting through her, every corner of her. Making her both aware and numb to how alive and dead she was. She was here and she was gone. She was up and down; there and nowhere. How she always _had_ been; except now, every insecurity, every inadequacy took on a tangibility she hadn't expected – it had become so real for her how utterly discarded she was. How utterly alone. She sucked in a breath, hoping it would calm her but it only made a pathway to her lungs that expanded to let out more crying, more loneliness and more helplessness. She was going to die here and that would be it. That would be the end of it all.

No one to taunt her, no one to try and kill her no one but time itself, wading through the inevitable until death called once more. The weight of the world fell off of her shoulders, replaced with something heavier; denser – the weight of the truth. The weight of everything she would never have again, everything she never really had to begin with. The weight of her decisions, her choices, or lack thereof; fate had always forced her hand to do what was 'right'. Except none of this was right. How was any of it fair? And then a saying as old as time itself floated through her mind, the only real coherent thought she'd had in a while…

_The road to hell is paved with good intentions_

And Bonnie had only ever had good intentions. She'd never allowed herself to be bitter, no not really, never allowed herself to want more than the little she'd managed to salvage. She'd done her best, done what was right. And what did it get her? Dead and undead. Dying but never finding peace. This wasn't peace. This was an unsolicited solitude, a sentencing, death taking another form since she'd 'survived' it so often before. She clutched at her stomach, feeling something begin to boil in there…something hotter than determination, sharper than hope – it was resentment. It twisted her already pained features and drew her under, like an injection of morphine into the bloodstream. She felt it move inside of her, with lightning quickness that surprised her as much as her crying had. The resentment curled and curdled in her insides; warping and breaking everything left within in. She stopped thinking outside of the pain, stopped wondering what was coming next. She stopped hoping in that moment. She let it die, on her lips and she fell swiftly into nothingness.

Damon's disappointment was palpable, his anger had his mind spinning dizzily but only one thought stayed with him. A few words, words he himself had spoken not so long ago before it had all turned to shit once more.

"_I'm doing this for Bonnie Elena, not for you_."

And then once more the truth came to him and he felt it scratch at his chest, at his conscience, his _heart_:

_She's all alone_

But for once, Damon wasn't going to wallow in despair, he was going to try again and keep trying until he _saw_ Bonnie's smile with his own two eyes. Felt her body sag with relief as she fell into _his_ arms. He couldn't trust it to anyone but himself then to get her back and he supposed that that was okay. He didn't need anyone else to get her home. He didn't _need_ anyone else…

He was going to bring Bonnie Bennett back and fuck _**anyone**_ who in any way shape or form tried to hinder that.


End file.
